Parental Narcissism Creates Toxic Families

I am learning about narcissistic families.  In learning about the cycle of narcissistic abuse, I have come to realize just how toxic my own family dynamics are.  I was raised in a home with a narcissistic mother and my father was physically and emotionally abusive to my mother.  I have come to realize just how much trauma there is in my own childhood.   My father is now dead and I have had no contact with my mother for three years.  Being no contact with my mother means I am also no contact with the rest of my family.  I am sure that to outsiders we looked like the all American family, but we were far from what I would call a loving normal family.  I saw the following post on Facebook and felt I wanted to include this in my blog:

Posted by Freedom From Parental Narcissistic Abuse

One thing I hear over and over again when people learn that their parent/s or someone they were close to has NPD is, "I feel like such a fool." I understand that feeling completely. I can look back on my family relationships and how I unknowingly fed their ego, or coward to their rages, and can feel the heat of embarrassment rising within me to the point I want to kick myself. More than a hundred times, I've thought 'what an idiot I am for not knowing this... for not figuring it out sooner.


As human beings with a heart and soul, and who are capable of empathizing, and who are not able to completely comprehend that the people who are supposed to love us most actually do not have a conscience to speak of, how in the world were we to know? How were we expected to figure this out on our own? How we were raised was our "normal" and we were conditioned to believe exactly this. We were literally brainwashed to keep our mouths shut, accept all projections, and believe any lie we were fed despite the fact that it goes against logic. THAT was our NORMAL. And how do you argue with that? How do you undo years of brainwashing through gaslighting on your own?




Narcissists are cunning and anyone can fall victim to them. But when you're born into such a family, you are prepped from birth to see a world that isn't really there at all. We didn't stand a chance.

I am NOT a fool. YOU are NOT a fool. We are survivors who have finally stumbled across the truth because we finally began to question everything we were taught and because we realized that we deserve much more than we were ever given by our narcissistic family.

As I am dealing with a hurt by my family earlier this week, I am reminding myself that I deserve much more that I have been given by my narcissistic family.  No I am not perfect, but I am doing what I can so that I can be healthier for  myself and my children.   I remain no contact with my family as my family dynamics are just too toxic for me to be around.  The best way I know right now to protect myself and give myself the time I need to heal is to remain no contact.  I pray that God guides me and helps me grow the way I need to grow....